Ending the Legacy of Family Violence

SafeMan SafeFamily works to help end the cycle of domestic violence by healing the people who are most broken – the perpetrators of violence, who in most cases have also been victims themselves.

It’s a fact that children who grow up in violent homes are more likely to repeat the cycle of victim or perpetrator. And removal from those homes rarely solves the issue. They are literally hard-wired to accept violence as the norm, and effectively marred for life, leading to everything from criminal behaviour to early death.

We are working to stop this legacy. SafeMen SafeFamily uses effective, peer-led programmes to help men understand the roots of their behaviour and gives them the tools to manage conflict and be violence-free, so their partners and children can live without fear.

It's 'normal'

for your partner to give you a fat lip for asking whether he got milk.
to hide from your dad after the All Blacks have lost.
for mum to wear a scarf in summer to hide the bruises on her throat.

This should never be normal.



Participants are supported to share their own story. They uncover their personal history and the cause of the violence and abuse they perpetrated. In most cases, this is due to their own experience as victims of violence growing up. They begin to realise and accept that their history has led to behaviours they don’t want to continue


Along this journey of uncovering, through the weeks of the SMSF Programme, participants are guided to discover tools, skills and different ways of communicating to be able to deal with difficult situations and conflict, and control their emotions.


They can then start on a journey to recover from the effects and impacts of violence, and learn how they can help share this recovery with others.

New Zealand /Aotearoa has the worst domestic violence statistics in the developed world.
It's one of our most significant social issues.

Over 500,000 incidents are estimated to happen every year (80% go unreported), and it costs the country an estimated $4billion ($4,000,000,000) minimum every year (that’s at least $839 for every man, woman and child). And it’s not going away.

Every year, around 13 women, 10 men and 9 children die through domestic violence – an issue that becomes normalised within families, through generations.

It has to stop.