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Vic Tamati Talks Family Violence on The Project

SafeMan SafeFamily founder Vic Tamati spoke to The Project’s Jesse Mulligan recently, about his journey to heal his family from domestic violence, and the challenges he faced in finding help.
Vic described how his own experience as a childhood victim led directly to his violent behaviour with his own family. This is one thing we find as an organisation: kids exposed to family violence are literally emotionally disabled by it, and often end up re-enacting it later in life as either a victim or domestic violence offender.
They genuinely don’t stand a chance.
SafeMan SafeFamily’s purpose is to stop this intergenerational legacy. We do this through helping perpetrators uncover their own histories and understand how those early experiences have ‘wired them for violence’. We then help them discover a new ‘toolkit’ of behaviours, and eventually recover enough for their families to pronounce them ‘Safe.’
As Vic himself has described, it’s not an easy road, and it is a long road. But Aotearoa/NZ sees too many family violence incidents, and too many children removed into care – especially Maori children, because the system has failed them in the past.
We’re aiming to disrupt this system.
We don’t dispute that some of these men have done horrific things. But we do understand that violence is often born from violence. And it can be overcome. By helping perpetrators of family and whanau violence redeem themselves with their families, we enable them to journey from ‘Zero to Hero’, so their partners and children can live without fear. However long that journey takes.
Please support our work.
To find out more about how we work, read about Safe Man Safe Family programmes here.
Or to speak to a SafeMan SafeFamily programme facilitator, please call 0800 SAFEHELP.

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It's 'normal'

It's 'normal' for your partner to give you a fat lip for asking whether he got milk.

This should never be normal.