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Lockdown/rahui tip #2:

In this short video, Lua explains how you can use the 10/90 rule to help move through challenging situations. This is not just something you can use through the lockdown restrictions, but ANY TIME.
Basically, this means 10% of any situation is out of your control. These are things like your partner’s behaviour, or the weather. This is the stuff you have to let go – it’s not going to change.
BUT on the other hand, 90% of the situation is within your control.
So focus on yourself. Aim to let go of the things you can’t control and focus on the things you CAN control – YOUR behaviour, and YOUR thoughts.
Focus on those things, and don’t waste your time and energy trying to control things you can’t.
And you know what – don’t keep this tool to yourself!
Share it with your partner and all those you care about, so you can all be in a better space.

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It's 'normal' for your partner to give you a fat lip for asking whether he got milk. to hide from your dad after the All Blacks have lost. for mum to wear a scarf in summer to hide the bruises on her throat.

It's 'normal' for your partner to give you a fat lip for asking whether he got milk.

This should never be normal.