SafeMan SafeFamily

Our People

Vic Tamati

Founder and Trustee

My start on the Race Track of Life was marked by many forms of lifestyle and family violence. In 1993, I volunteered to go to a stopping violence program. Although I did the program twice, and I didn’t pass each time, it made me want to know what stopping family violence actually is. In the years since, I have come to know that stopping family violence is a life-long journey and that it starts with me. I now call this my Redemption Journey. I have also come to know that I relate best with people just like me – living unsafely because that’s all they know, but wanting to learn to live a safe life. Today this is called Peer-Led, Professionally Supported.

Choosing to live safe means I need ongoing peer support. I call this RJ-Redemption Journey and it’s similar to visiting a petrol station for a top-up. Another important part of my Redemption Journey is what I’ve named, the Roll Call. This is how I Uncover my trauma, to Discover new tools, to Recover and be safe. This is my intentional heavy lifting. Sharing what I know about being safe is what I call A&E, which means Awareness and Education to Stop Accident and Emergency. I’ve shared my journey with a lot of people and this has led to a network of safe peers and professionals who help me to be safe. In 2010, I started SafeMan SafeFamily so that others like me can also be supported on their Redemption Journey. Through SafeMan SafeFamily, it is my vision for Aotearoa-New Zealand to become a sanctuary free of family and sexual violence and human predators

Dr David Codyre, MBChB (1980), FRANZCP (1989)

Trustee

David is a psychiatrist with 30 years’ experience working in New Zealand’s community mental health sector, in a range of clinical and leadership roles. He has spent the past 15 years leading development of primary mental health programmes, and advocating at a regional and national level for strengthening of primary mental health capacity, and better support from secondary mental health services.
David currently works with Tamaki Health, a network of clinics serving populations in high-needs areas of Auckland. He is only too familiar with the research on how childhood adversity (including family violence) creates ongoing life challenges, and sees it borne out every day in his work. He says “If we could ensure every child in Aotearoa/NZ was born after a healthy pregnancy, and grew up safe and loved, we’d halve the need for mental health and addiction services, significantly reduce the need for unemployment and sickness benefits, halve the number of people in prison, and ultimately reduce the need for medical hospitalisation later in life. The most transformational change I have seen in addressing this issue, has come from the work of Vic Tamati and his network of Safe Men.”

Tania Mahoney

Treasurer and Secretary

Tania has been working with Safe Man Safe Family since 2013. She is also the owner of White Swan Consultancy Limited, providing small business management and accounting services. She lives in South Auckland with her family, including two young adult children, and is passionate about supporting others to break free of the cycle of violence.

Tania has qualified with a Bachelor Applied Science in Psychology from the Open Polytechnic and Post Grad Diploma of Science, Psychology major from Massey University and Post Grad Diploma of Health Science in Violence and Trauma with AUT.

Tim Marshall

Chairperson - Gisborne

I have been involved with SafeMan SafeFamily for over 12 years since I first met Vic back in 2009. It is a kaupapa that I’m passionate about as I have seen the impact and positive outcomes of the Peer-Led, Professionally Support approach.

I have been on the board for the past 4 years and currently have the privilege to be in the role of Chairperson. I have also been supporting operationally alongside the team where required.

My own employment back ground includes working with men for over 20 years in both paid and voluntary capacities and I currently co-ordinate the Tauawhi Mens Centre, a unique and locally generated community response to addressing a gap in service for men in Tairawhiti/Gisborne.

The service provides court mandated and self-referred support for men for non-violence programmes, counselling, parenting and social work support. It also hosts Te Hōkai: Male Survivors Tairawhiti.

I live in Gisborne with my partner Whetumarama and together they we have one son and two daughters, George, Amiria and Ngahuia and four mokopuna Whetu Te Rangi, Tiaki, Mahina-Jane and Tihia.

Rachel Terrace

Administration | Office Support

I’m Rachel Terrace – Administration/office support for SafeMan SafeFamily. I live in Otara, Auckland with my family.

Togia Lanefale

Social Worker - Auckland

I am of Maori and Niuean descent and was born in Auckland. I work as a social worker and group facilitator. I’m on this kaupapa to stop the cycle of family violence one whanau at a time; it’s about the journey, not the destination.

Work Experience – Social worker since 2011 – Knowledge of MOJ safety programmes, family court processes, family violence & drug court protocols, drug & alcohol support services, community housing providers, community law and community service providers.

Current work – Toolbox BAW parenting programme facilitator, stopping violence programme facilitator for groups, couples relationships work.

Simon Burges-Short

Social Worker - Te Tai o Poutini / West Coast

I am a qualified and registered social worker with 25 years of experience. I am a member of ANZASW and registered social worker through SWRB. Early in my career, I worked for 8 years as a community youth worker predominantly working with gang families and then on a residential program for young offenders. This experience showed me the dynamics of the families where violence is a ‘norm’ and how to work with and motivate changes for young people in these whanau. I then worked with Child Youth and Family Services for 12 years . My role was a frontline social worker working with whanau where care and protection & youth offending existed, then I became a senior practitioner then a supervisor for the frontline staff. This experience gave me a deep knowledge around the practice framework of statutory social work to safeguard children’s wellbeing within whanau.

I am currently working as Clinical Lead for Social Work atTe Whatu Ora,Te Poutini. This role gives me an understanding of current practice framework of social work within DHB physical and mental health settings. I am currently attending the Family Violence Interagency Response System (FVIRS) which formulates joint response plans to all family harm incidents attended by Police in the West Coast (Westland, Grey, Buller) and have been on FVIRS for 10 years, firstly with CYFS then health. I have been and continue to be involved in a number of community roles in the community that gives me experience and understanding of the family environment where abuse occurs. I have been a member of the West Coast Te Rito Family Violence for over 12 years . This forum incorporates over 20 government and non-government agencies who come together to plan and carry out community projects to prevent and effectively respond to family violence in Westland and Grey Districts.

I have and continue to co-facilitate a weekly Men’s Support Group for 8 years, which sits under Safe Men, Safe Family. This is a peer led and non-mandated support group for men who use or have used family violence in their relationship. I am a founding member and a Trustee of the Phoenix Community Trust which runs a men’s safehouse in Greymouth. This trust is an entirely community led response to the need of men to have safe and supportive place to stay while enacting changes. I am a White Ribbon Ambassador for the West Coast. This role gives me opportunities to be the positive role model for men and encourage community action to stand up against family violence.

Phil Paikea

Lead Facilitator - Ruakākā, Northland

Pukekaroro Te Maunga, Kaipara Te Wahapu Te Awa, Mahuhu kite rangi te waka, Otamatea Te Marae, Aotearoa Te Whare tupuna, Paikea Te Hekeua Te Tupuna, Te Uri O Hau Te hapu, Ngatiwhatua Te Iwi

Kia ora my name is Phil Paikea, I am happily married to my wife of 44 years and have 6 daughters and 1 son.

Currently i have a job with SafeMan SafeFamily which allows me to do my work as a mentor, Navigator, and Family Violence Advocate. I am based in my community of Ruakaka where i manage our men’s Centre Te Whare Kowhai and facilitate men’s groups.

I also work as an advocate for Matariki Court based in the midnorth. I also traverse the country at the request of Marae, Prisons, Communities, Work place, Corrections Centres, Schools, Gang Pads and universities to speak on the mahi that’s done with Safeman Safefamily.

“Ïf we don’t celebrate the successes of our Tane, we aren’t recognising positive behaviour”

Nga mihi kia koutou.

Na Phi

Graeme McCullough

Kaimahi - Manawatū

I have been involved with SafeMan SafeFamily for about 4 Years. I first met Vic in 2019 while attending a hui in Tairāwhiti.

I was encouraged by what I saw and heard and wanted to get involved.

I continue to see the positive changes and outcomes for our men and women through this Peer-Led, Professionally Supported approach.

I have completed an Intentional Peer Support Trainers course and would like to see more of our members completing IPS training to better assist themselves and also assist others to better outcomes for themselves and their families. I am currently a member of the Intentional Peer Support Aotearoa New Zealand Board (IPSANZ).

I got to this space while trying to make sense of my own background of historic family and domestic violence, and trying to find tools to deal with the sexual abuse that happened to me while in state care. I have come to realise that I am not alone and that there are other options available to us besides anger, abuse, and violence. IT IS OK TO TALK!

My working history is based on Corporate Business with companies including Burmah Castrol (Tork) Ansett New Zealand and NZ Fire Service as well as running my own company for 18 years. Working with people for over 40 years in both paid and voluntary roles.

I offer my peer support to all that want to move ahead from the space they find themselves currently in. I assist men throughout the lower central North Island including Whanganui, Taihape, Marton, Feilding, Palmerston North, Pahiatua, Foxton, Levin Otaki, and down to Wellington.

I am of Ngati Porou descent, Tokomaru Bay, Tuatini Marae, and Scottish on my mother’s side and Irish from my father’s side. I live in Palmerston North with my wife Fiona and together we have two sons Daniel and Christopher and a whangai’d daughter Karen and three mokopuna Kylah, Maisie & Albert.

David Pouwhare

Kaimahi - Whakatane

Ko Maunga-Pohatu te maunga

Ko Rangitaiki te awa

Ko Mataatua te waka

Ko Tuhoe te iwi

Ko Ngati Patuheuheu te hapu

Ko Waiohau te marae

Ko David Pouwhare taku ingoa

No Whakatane ahau

I use to think I had to be in control of any situation no matter what.

The more violent and aggressive I was made me feel more in control.

I grew up watching my older brothers in control of their club, wives, rumbles, fast cars, drug deals and doing prison time for all of that.

I turned out the same, staunch to the fist, I loved my patch, my ego as big as my maunga, abusive and violent to my partner, traumatized my children, hated the system, police and mongrel mob.

I ended up hating myself, my actions and behaviour. I hated being this PERPATRATOR now that I know, I was outta control.

My Redemption Journey brothers, come join me and others sharing their story to

UNCOVER why shet happened

DISCOVER tools to put shet right

RECOVER from that shet pretty much

Nga mihi

Lance Jones

Group Facilitator

Kia Ora I am Lance Jones a family violence facilitator for Safe Man Safe Family Organization. My journey started from being a victim at a young age to becoming a perpetrator of violence. It has shaped me into a passionate advocate for change. With a deep understanding of the complexities surrounding this issue. I have committed to breaking the cycle and helping individuals rebuild their lives.

Alongside my work, my hobbies are my downtime. I spend time with my family and enjoy moments building positive relationships. On sunny days you may find me casting a fishing rod into the sea while enjoying the company of my wife. I also enjoy free diving gathering seafood for my family to enjoy that brings me a sense of peace and freedom.

When I am not by the sea. I can be found looking at motorcycles and classic cars. The roar of the engines and the craftsmanship. They captivate my interest. It serves as a reminder of the importance of preservation and cherishing the past while moving forward.

My personal life experiences and dedication shape my ability to connect with those who experienced family violence. I understand the struggles and potential for growth in every individual’s story. Through my work as a facilitator my passion is to inspire, encourage others to overcome their past and teach healthy relationships. To create a safer future for themselves and loved ones.

Having a compassionate heart and being committed to change, my journey to incorporate, transformation and the power of advocating for a [A1] family violence free world.

It's 'normal'

for your partner to give you a fat lip for asking whether he got milk.

to hide from your dad after the All Blacks have lost.

for mum to wear a scarf in summer to hide the bruises on her throat.

This should never be normal.